Meditation 4: In Memoriam

Mary Frances Appling ("Bubby") 
October 28, 1919 - November 15, 2008

Just a few days ago--on Saturday, November 15, 2008--my dear friend, Mary Frances Appling ("Bubby"), passed away.  She was 89.  

Bubby and her daughter, Fran, opened a home daycare together in 1981. For 26 years, she labored alongside her daughter to care for and love the children in their daycare, as well as the children's families.  My own two children were among the many beneficiaries of Bubby's warmth and love, as were my wife and I.   

In August 2007, however, Bubby began to suffer from an illness that left her bedridden. Fortunately, Fran was able to provide her with in-home care.  So Bubby was able to continue doling out hugs and kisses to the daycare kids whenever they came to her bedside (which happened pretty frequently throughout the day--the kids always had something they wanted to share with or show Bubby).  

A few months after she became ill, I began visiting Bubby.  I wanted to encourage and minister to her.  I knew it wasn't easy for someone with so much life in her to be confined to a bed.  In the end, however, it was Bubby who often ended up ministering to me.  I would come to lift her spirits, but she would focus on trying to lift mine ("I don't want to talk about how I'm doin'," she'd say. "Let's talk about how you're doin'!").  I would come to help strengthen her faith, but she would build mine.  I would come to show her the love of Christ, but often would end up experiencing it myself at her bedside.  I would come to share Scripture with her, but she would often impart to me tremendous words of wisdom.  We had some wonderful, deep, and rich conversations.  In fact, my talks with Bubby were so enriching that, with her permission, I began taking notes on the precious pearls of wisdom she'd often share with me.  I eventually began to affectionately refer to them as "Bubby's Proverbs."  Here are some of my favorites . . . 


1.  God has a way of working things out one way or another.

2.  Kill 'em with kindness!

3.  Some of our smallest blessings end up being some of our biggest blessings.  And the funny thing about it is, you never know when they're coming.

4.  Let your conscience be your guide!

5.  It's a wonderful life, even with its ups and downs.

6.  There's some good in everyone, no matter how bad the person is.  You just have to look for it!

7.  Don't let any one person ever stop you from doing God's work.  Don't no one monkey stop the show!

8.  Be a good listener!

9.  Suck 'em in!  [Bubby's playful advice to me on how to grow a church]

10.  Don't start no rootin' and tootin', and there won't be no cuttin' and shootin'! [This was one of Bubby's favorites, a classic Bubbyism] . . . 

I am deeply thankful for the encouragement and the words of wisdom Bubby shared with me during my visits with her.  I will always cherish the times I had at her bedside.  But none will be as precious to me as the final moments we shared the day before she passed away.

When I walked into her room, she was incoherent, disoriented, and in a lot of pain.  I tried talking to her, but she didn't seem to be aware of my presence.  So, I began to pray:  I told the Lord that I knew Bubby's mind was disoriented, but that I also knew His Holy Spirit could minister directly to her spirit.  Then I began to read some passages of Scripture to Bubby, believing that even though her mind was not able to process what I was reading, her spirit could.  One of the Scriptures I read was Psalm 27:1:

The Lord is my light and my salvation--
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life--
of whom shall I be afraid?
A few minutes later, Bubby stopped mumbling incoherently and began praying in articulate sentences.  Her prayers were simple, but fervent: "Lord take me home," she said. "I'm ready! Oh Lord! Take me home."  Then, in the middle of her prayers, Bubby began to quote what I had read to her from Psalm 27: "The Lord is my light and my salvation," she declared. 

My heart filled with joy as I realized the Lord had answered my prayer. Bubby still didn't seem to know I was there. But the Holy Spirit was ministering to her spirit.  And that was all that mattered!  I knew the Lord had heard her, and was preparing to call her home.  And call her home He did!  Early Saturday morning, this wonderful woman of God walked through heaven's gate. 

Today, Thursday, I attended Bubby's burial.  As her casket was transported to the grave site, I reflected on our Savior's beautiful promise, the fulfillment of which Bubby had experienced just a few days earlier: "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live[.]" (John 11:25). 

I grieve Bubby's passing, and will miss her very much.  But I am glad that she no longer is confined to a bed--she now walks the streets of gold, and has seen her Savior face-to-face! I also rejoice in the wonderful truth that Bubby has not merely gone from ashes to ashes and dust to dust.  She is, even now, being transformed from glory to glory! "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" (2 Corinthians 3:18; 1 Corinthians 15:55).

Here's to you, Bubby!  I won't bid you farewell, because I know we'll meet again some day. As you once told me,"Every goodbye ain't gone!"  So, for now, I'll just say, "Congratulations, my dear friend, on a life well-loved and a race well-run! I love you!"



Anonymous said...

This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman. Thank you for sharing your Bubby experiences with us. She will be missed greatly here on earth.

Disciple of the Lord said...


Anonymous said...

Memoriam Indeed

Niki- Just stoppin by for a little more meditation. Thx for sharing- I can't image how difficult this must have been.

Suck 'em in- Steve